Wine Marketing 101

The Wine business is a tough business. Trying to produce and sell a wine in a competitive market and see it develop into a viable commodity is a very difficult task these days, and there’s plenty of competition. Yet some find the winning combination, either by way of brilliant and consistent wine making like Krug, DRC, and Lafite, or by way of shear media Hype I.E. Saxum, and SQN. Yet others do it by making shit wine that appeal to masses like Orin Swift, Silver Oak, and Rombauer. Instead of wasting millions on advertising, I have devised a simple yet effective solution: Get that bottle into the Hip Hop Nation mainstream. Listen to me Baby Boomers, I understand that you don’t have a fucking clue what these fools are saying, and the whole thing really scares the shit out of you. But let’s be honest, this is capitalist piggy country so we’ve gotta sell this shit, and sometimes you have to put your morals and better judgement aside. Now, let me show you how to slang some juice.


Moscato is used in a myriad of wines and styles, from Asti Spumante to Brandy.  It is grown all over the world and is known by many synonyms. It is one slut of a variety. You’d think that this unassuming grape would never shine on its own, but thanks to Hip Hop, Moscato has been thrust into the limelight of the mainstream

Before this song, most of the enologically challenged had no fucking clue what Moscato was. Waka Flocka, Wale, and Roscoe Dash made Moscato blow up.


Louis Roederer’s Cristal was ballin’ long before Hip Hop took a liking to this cellophane wrapped Champagne.  In an interview with The Economist in 2006, Louis Roederer managing director Frederic Rouzaud said he viewed the attention from Hip-Hop artists with “curiosity and serenity.” Asked if he thought the association would harm the brand, he replied, “that’s a good question, but what can we do? We can’t forbid people from buying it. I’m sure Dom Pérignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business. Subsequent interpretations and reactions to these statements resulted in the brand’s loss of position in hip-hop culture. Cristal went from being the rappers default to being discarded. Jay-Z releasing a statement saying he would never ‘drink Cristal. Either way, Cristal benefited from all of the Hip Hop publicity.

This track probably contains the first ever-known Cristal reference in Hip-Hop history

The video that made “Cris” the drank in yo cup. Props for not using a flute.

Armand de Brignac

What do you do when you’re just too baller for Cristal. You drink Armand de Brignac. Famous for its ace of spades label and metallic  bottle, nobody in the world actually drinks it besides Jay-Z, and yet it is still one of the most recognizable bottles of wine in the world. GO FUCKING FIGURE.

I came up with a few dream scenarios for us to ponder:

Lil’ Wayne and Domaine de la Romanée-Conti

Let’s take the most marketable face in the Hip Hop game right now, and team him up with easily the biggest bad ass of Burgundy. Can you imagine the look of horror and disbelief on wine snobs’ faces when they see a clip of Lil’ Wayne and the Young Money Militia pouring out a full bottle of DRC Richebourg for the homies? Priceless.

Kanye West and Domaine Tempier Bandol Rosé

Rosé doesn’t get much love from the Hip Hop community, and even a lot of uncouth wine drinkers consider it to be “gay”, so a link-up with The Gay Fish would be marketing gold. Bad Ass music producer/rapper+dope Rosé=Genius

Wu-Tang Clan and Château Pétrus Pomerol Bordeaux

One of the greatest marketing Hip Hop collectives ever hook-up with vintage of the century(every vintage apparently) Château Pétrus. I’m 100 points on that.

4 responses to “Wine Marketing 101

  • Daveeed

    One more suggestion. Make damn good wine and people with love it!!! When they drink it they will tell their friends. Their friends will tell other friends and all of sudden you have a following. Or you can produce crap and hype the shit out of it. That could work too……

  • evilbottle

    Daveeed, that takes too long. Just hire a rapper. It’s quicker and easier.

  • Beau (@UCBeau)

    Wasn’t it Kanye who sang about the riesling?

    Armand de Brignac is a made up label, some wine blogger rooted it out a few years ago.

    • evilbottle

      I remember reading that. I also read he had an annual 3-4 million dollar contract to rep it. My how the masses can be so easily manipulated with marketing. That is bascially the jist of this tongue-in-cheek article.

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